Joe Sweeney doesn’t love his job, and there’s nothing in this wide world that could make us happier. The much-awaited banana truffle makes its return to the family Christmas table? Nobody plays football ever again to save the public from dying an excruciatingly painful death triggered by the torture of prolonged tedium? The night bus arrives two minutes earlier than announced? He finally texts you back after seven days of radio silence, though it’s just a confusing GIF showing a cat that’s not even that cute? Who cares. None of this stuff should get you peppy anyway. Here’s what matters: Joe Sweeney hates his job.
Why is this a deal? Because unlike most people out there, the freelance model/artist/fashion designer really went out of his way to show just how much he hates it. Choosing an unconventional way of letting the world know, Sweeney designed a bunch of t-shirts and hoodies as part of a capsule collection with Henry Holland, adorned with the slogan, “I Love My Job”. Irony is a dangerous weapon that can easily backfire, kids.
For the rest of us job-haters, this can only mean one thing: a fashion statement that can turn the tide at your workplace. Pining for that Christmas bonus but the next performance evaluation meeting looks as promising as swallowing a family of hedgehogs and a few needles for dessert? How about you slapped a shirt on it to get your boss’ attention? Want to know who else doesn’t love their jobs? Look for the undercover t-shirt wearers operating in your area. Just think about it: Who else would muster the strength to wear an item so bold as this otherwise? Margaret, the office bootlicker is clearly going to stop short of refusing to go out to grab lunch because “publishing is her lifeblood”, but she wouldn’t have the courage to make a statement this loud. To hell with Margarets.
Work-ditchers of the world unite, we found the perfect uniform for you to watch Buzzfeed videos in. The next time your line manager approaches your desk with those characteristically silent steps of hers again, just roll around in your office chair, pat yourself on the stomach, do a fake-yawn and et voila: you successfully diverted their attention. The perfect cover for steep situations: a shirt that shows how much you love your job better than your actions ever could.